Mao, Lenin, Stalin.......and the New America

I sit here in my small cell, surrounded by dead mice and my own excrement. I have not eaten for two days, and I can still hear the screams of my wife and child as I was dragged from my apartment by the Chinese Secret Police. You see, China is a dangerous place. A dangerous place, that is, for those who wish to express the deepest sentiments of their hearts in thought, speech, or deed. There is no self, only the State.

This is why, even in my current deplorable situation, my insides writhe in anger and confusion not at my own government, my oppressors, but rather at the mass of blind people across the great sea, the American people. They are blind to their freedom; they are blind to the fact that they can make all their dreams come true. A large majority of these people wish to elect a man by the name of Barack Obama as president. The people scream "We Want Change!!" Yes, the very people who not so long ago rose up in the face of tyranny and gave their blood and souls for an idea, and idea called freedom, those same people now wish to become mere puppets in the hands of an evil man with a black heart (black heart meaning "evil heart". In no way was it meant to refer to Obama's skin pigmentation). Yes, the American people have tired of working for livelihood. They are now content with feeding off those who do work. The American people have tired of the strenuous work involved in staying alive. They now wish to be put on government life-support. The American people have tired of being Americans. The American people wish to throw themselves at the feet of a madman, and tear down the mighty tower of HOPE and FREEDOM which has been erected on the lands of Red, White and Blue.

What, one may ask, should the others - those few people whose eyes have not been blinded by the cunning spirit of good intentions - what should they do? Simple. They should band together and voice their thoughts in loud opposition to this grand slaughter of the human condition. Yes, we want change. But to accept the same change as Obama, is to, as a great Chinese poet once said, "Hentsu naghqa hdichi gainxhui" (roughly translated as "Shove the chicken into one's rectum even further")

I sit here, in China, swimming in dung, yet I am not bothered. What bothers me is the knowledge that Democrats wish to put themselves, through their votes, in the same feces-filled cell as I. They are like babies, dancing in glee at the warmth in their pants, unaware that soon, if care is not taken, they will be killed by the flies.

October the 28, 2008

This article has been smuggled out of Xiang Qitzubi's prison cell, and submitted to The Daily Militant for publishing.

A Possible Scenario

With most media outlets showing doomsday predictions for Nov. 4th, we here at The Daily Militant conducted our own research, and our LA Times/Daily Militant Research showed this possible scenario.

The Daily Militant Endorses Sen. John McCain

We here at The Daily Militant proudly announce our endorsement of Sen. John McCain for President.

Our country has experimented with freedom for more than two hundred years, and we here at The Daily Militant do not think that now is the time to stop. Marxism is never an option, especially for the inventors of freedom.

Redistribution of wealth, workers of the world uniting, a philosopher-king not seen since the days of Lenin. These are all the very antithesis to what being an American is all about.

On Nov. 4th let's not let the socialist elite take control of our country.

Air Conditioning of Our Lives

We as a society like to sit with our backs to the proverbial air conditioning, letting our communal sinus get stuffed and drippy. Cold air fills the room like some sickly gas, enveloping us within its opium-like texture. We convince ourselves though, that this sinus stuffing metallic air that surrounds us is pleasurable. We kick back, so to speak, and breathe great breaths of moist, rag-like-air, grabbing for it, gulping it down as if it were water touching our parched lips. We crave for it, our minds convulse; like a man possessed we do all we can to power this box of artificial oxygen. I recently read about a man who killed a young calf in anticipation of wrapping its cool flesh around himself, in the hopes of simulating the air conditioning experience. Friends, is that not addiction?

Have we gone mad? Have we, as a society, sunken so low that we cannot recognize what our natural surroundings are? Dare we forget that the Garden of Eden came equipped not for air conditioning? Shall we fall into the modern day Tree of Knowledge trap? Who controls us, our minds and souls or a fuse box?

Furthermore, what is this hallucinatory substance that fills our lungs and our minds with sweet dreams of clanging metal and cans of cold green tea? What is it that slowly forces us to lose our grip over what reality is, and slip into this medically induced abyss.

I remember meeting a child in Bangladesh, he played with a spinning top under the sweltering Himalayan sun, and then, out of nowhere, a venomous snake attacked him. The town elders saved the boy, and gave him a new top. Then we all sat and drank hot tea and laughed and laughed. We had all, from the young to the old, experienced life. At that moment life had been so tangible, so tangible that I thought the old men would grow twenty years younger. Alas, they didn’t.

What connection has this personal recollection to the natural condition, and the lack thereof? This story was the beginning of our search, our Maggelanesc voyage through thought. With the beginning of this collaborative search for the divine truth (expressing ourselves through art and through words), we can delve deeper into the complexities, peeling away the layers, pouring healing salt upon the wounds.

Air conditioning is the re-conditioning of our natural surroundings. It is the re-education of our feeble minds. We were created to live in natural surroundings, enlightening the savage world that is olam hazeh hagashmi, and then we just joined it. We joined with not only our bodies, but with our hearts and minds. We told ourselves that we needed this cool air, we told ourselves that we could not live, that it would be utterly unbearable to sleep a night without a synthetic buffer encircling us. And then it was true. We had convinced ourselves into a physical and even more, a mental addiction.

There is but one elixir to healing our searing gashes. We must pull the plug. We must rip the wires from the machine. Break the knobs and buttons off. Pull the filter out, and poke holes through it. Intervention in a very real way. And then, then we shall kick back our feet and relax in the path of the divine central air-conditioning, who’s spigots shall never cease to blow wind from its bottomless innards. Amen.